The Feminist Church of Lilith

I have the pleasure and honor to interview Nua Fey for this blog, founder of a Feminist Church of Lilith. I must say that I can relate to her every word and analysis.

1. Who are you, founders of the Fem Church of Lilith? How this adventure begin ?

First I would like to say I am honoured to be chosen for this interview and grateful for the opportunity to be the expression of Lilith in any way I can.

My name is Nua Fey. I am the founder of the Fem Church of Lilith. When I say ‘us’ and ‘we’ in the collective it’s because I know I am not alone in my pursue of a more humane and kind society. The goal of the Fem Church of Lilith is twofold: to raise awareness to the desperate need of re-shaping a society for women to feel safe and empowered. The second goal is to bring to light the myth and archetype of Lilith in its deserved true form, untainted by the vilification of patriarchy.

The adventure is pretty new in relation to the organisation as per say.

It’s impossible to talk about the origin of my passion and reverence for Lilith without going back to my childhood.

Lilith was my ‘guardian angel’ as a child. I wasn’t aware of who she was but I knew she was there. As I grew up in Christian tradition, I called her Mary.

The whole concept of Christianity never made much sense to me but there was one character in the whole story I felt connected to. The mother of Jesus, basically because she was the only woman there. The thing is, I couldn’t understand why she always looked so sad!

One day at Sunday lessons at church my catechist asked us to draw Mary as we see her. My Mary was magnificent! Glowing! Flirty even. She had bright red lipstick on and was showing her shoulders. She also wore her blue gown but it was a ‘mermaid’ style dress, and boy was she curvy! I was so proud! I honestly thought my Mary looked far prettier than all the others. Needless to say I got in trouble because Mary certainly did not look like a whore – she said. From that point on I kept my ‘freer’ Mary to myself. Thinking back that was the first glance I had that us, as women, had to tame our ‘wild’ side. Like my Mary, it should not be allowed to be shown.

As a child I was also a victim of sexual abuse (I hate that word but for the lack of a better one, victim it is!). When I found it hard to cope with my abuser I prayed to my Mary. Not the Church Mary, but MY Mary. Her energy comforted me. She understood what I was going through, I felt she knew it was wrong and she wanted to protect me. I don’t want to bore the reader with the misfortunes of my childhood but that’s when I met Lilith as a spirit. She taught me to push the pain aside and focus on my strength and eventually, she showed me I could walk away from my abuser. Her energy has been a constant in my life since.

I didn’t realise my Mary was actually called Lilith. I only figured that out when I made a conscious choice to walk away from Christianism to venture into the world of witchcraft, which I have for now 25 years. Once I found out who Lilith was there was no doubt in my mind whose energy I had been graced with all this time. It was like she knew what I would have to go through. With her soothing, empowering presence I survived rape, abusive relationships and eventually she guided me into valuing myself. She made me see that I had been conditioned to accept the way I was being treated by a society where the rules were not made to suit me or my fellow sisters. I opened my eyes and stopped accepting that treatment.

And that new love for myself made me see what happens in a global level. It’s like a disease. A seed of shame that grew into a monstrosity. A smear that has been put on women with Eve. And the same ones that professed that God was fair were the ones who were perpetuating that behaviour towards women. Lilith fought for equality. For justice. For the right to speak, to think. For the right to do what women’s bodies were made to do. She taught me not to be afraid or ashamed of my sexuality. To explore. To be free to feel, smell, taste, speak, think. To just be who I am!

2. Where do you fit into the larger feminist debate? In recent years, there has been talk of a third generation feminist : inclusive, intersectional, anti-colonial... Can we say that the growing interest in Lilith in witchcraft circles is related to this third generation feminist?

I am a third generation feminist. I am not saying in any way that there is anything wrong with traditional feminism but the new stem of feminism opened a door to many groups with a much wider spectrum of societal injustices. And that is a good thing. That intersectionality draws the minority or the marginalized towards Lilith. The LGBT community has just recently started to be heard. The cry is for the end of inequality in any form. For inclusion of the ones who don’t have a voice and are denied a dignified place in society. The Fem Church of Lilith is more about what Lilith stands for than rituals or esoteric learnings even though that is part of it too. My dream is that by presenting Lilith, the Goddess and/or her archetype, people will be curious and look into it and open their eyes to change and their mouths to speak about all she stands for. Women are still suffering horrible abuse. All you have to do is turn on the news. The number of rapes in England grew by 8% last year. Look at India where child marriage is still a common thing even though it’s prohibited by law. Domestic violence against women grew exponentially during the pandemic. Forced marriages. Barbaric treatment for perceived ‘crimes’. Female mutilation. Some things are too horrible to even mention. It is nightmarish that women are made to live in fear in our modern society. And it’s alarming that it seems to be accepted as part of a universal culture.

3. Who is Lilith? How would you describe this goddess?

Lilith is one of the oldest female characters that was ever recorded in writing. Records were found dated about 3000 years ago in Mesopotamia. In Sumeria she is linked with the cult of the Goddess Inanna. She was called ‘Hand of Inanna’ and conducted sacred orgies among Inanna’s followers. Later on she is mentioned in Babylonia as a prostitute of the Goddess Ishtar (previously Inanna) who would not have children. She actually had sex for pleasure and not procreation.

But it was as a villain that she got her ‘Hollywood’ break with a Judaic book that mentioned Lilith in the Alphabet of Ben Sira as the first wife of Adam, the one who issued war against Yahweh because she did not accept to be submissive to Adam. That’s when she got her nasty reputation. Considering the male based faith of the authors I would take all that with a grain of salt!

That’s a bit of her history but if I have to describe her, I say she is a beautiful, motherly, protective, generous energy. She does not require obedience, subservience nor submission. She does require commitment though. An awareness of her in your life. She wants you to find your freedom and enjoy being who you are and spread it to the world. She shares your pleasure and laughs with you. And most of all she teaches you that you shall not live under the thumb of any men, God, or pretty much anything else for that matter, not even her. Her Freedom is untamed, wild, raw and permissive. That’s what she values.

4. Dion Fortune used to say that "all goddesses are the same goddess". What do you think about this? Are all Goddesses one face of a primordial Goddess that could be likened to Lilith?

The first Goddess ever recorded was Inanna. As the cult of male Gods grew Goddesses were relegated second rank. The principle of femininity was washed down, diluted and spread through many other paths and deities were created. But the spark is one. So I agree with Dion Fortune.

Lilith is many and many is Lilith. Lilith is me and I am her.

5. In the same way, what do you think of the possible links between Lilith and Hecate? And those between the Thelemite goddess Babalon and Lilith?

I think that connection comes from the fact that Hecate and Lilith are both connected to the Dark Moon. As for the Red Goddess Babalon in the Thelema I think Crowley was spot on. It is quite interesting that Lilith was known as Inanna’s handmaid and sacred prostitute and the Bible admonishes against the Prostitute of Babylon in the book of Apocalypse. I assume that’s where Crawley got the ‘Scarlet Woman’ from.

I am not erudite enough to know the origins of Hecate or Babalon but they have a lot in common with Lilith, the female liberated sexual energy.

6. In the Jewish myth, Lilith rebels against Adam but also against God. How should we interpret this rebellion? And above all, how can we live the rebellion today?

We should interpret as her right. Wouldn’t you? Why should she accept being less than Adam? It’s not right or natural to be oppressed and accept it. It’s inhuman. It’s the permission to fight for freedom and for what is the natural order. Equality. And the best way to live this rebellion is to continue to strive for that same goal. I do not believe in the utopia of ever lasting peace but I believe that injustice should be fought, punished, minimised and that every effort has be to be made for that to happen. A society where the innocent bleed, where people are stripped of their rights for not complying to rules that make no sense, that a book written when men squatted in caves is still used to justify barbarities is not a healthy society and whatever model that has been used as building block has to be knocked down and rebuilt in a more humane fashion.

Whore of Babylon by William Blake 1809

7. In the myth, Lilith is linked to Sammael-Lucifer with whom she pairs up after being expelled from the Garden of Eden. What place do you give to Lucifer?

To be honest I think that was all story created by the Jewish to scare women off their own sexuality. Patriarchy didn’t want women to be liberated or free. It would rock its very core. Considering that Lilith was the ‘prostitute’ that would not bear children but still enjoyed sex was something very dangerous for their system of faith and society. And what better way to keep women in check than creating a she demon who would strangle their babies in the middle of the night and have sex with their husbands while they were asleep? And that doesn’t go only for Lilith. Any form of worship of a female deity had to be culled.

Lucifer is also misinterpreted. Do you realise that every and any being that called Yahweh on his bullshit was demonised? Lucifer was an angel and he is still an angel. But he had a toe-to-toe with God because he thought God was being unfair. Let’s face it! Yahweh is a megalomaniac, tyrant God. He will not tolerate any questioning or deviation of his strict rules. So the villains were created but is that fair? Both sides had to be heard. Couldn’t Yahweh compromise? Lucifer loved God. Obviously God hurt him deep for him to turn into an enemy.

In my view Lucifer is a spirt, and I respect Lucifer as such. As well as any other spirits. I would never taunt a spirit because they are beings. We’re all beings of some sort in different levels of consciousness and evolution. I’m not saying I don’t believe in evil but I don’t believe a creature can be only bad or only good. It is a choice we make everyday. Even Lucifer.

8. Does Lilith transcend Jewish mythology and religion in the strict sense? And if so, in what way?

Lilith not only transcend it but she kicks it right on the butt. Lilith is not a religion. She is the spark of raw passion inside each human being. She is that flame that continued to burn despite all the oppression. They tried to silence her. They failed and they will always fail because Lilith is the Female force of creation along Male (Goddess/God). The whole base of monotheistic religion started wrong by creating a male only God forcing women into a lower position. How could that work? Even the name of the God of Israel in Hebrew “Elohim” is a plural word! Can any male creature create life by itself? No!

9. Lilith is often called the "Mother of Demons", how do you interpret this title? Do you see a link with the traditional spirits of Western occultism (Goethean spirits)?

‘Mother of Demons’ comes from the tale told by the Jewish. I do not believe she is the mother of demons. In my opinion those demons are an allegory about the people who chose to embrace Lilith’s freedom. I am a ‘demon child’ of Lilith and everybody else who holds her rebellious spirit inside of them are her ‘demon children’.

I see the Goethian spirits as beings in their own right. They are not to be feared, just respected. And they are very handy. They are busy spirits and they don’t mind doing our bidding.

I use pathworking to contact the Goethian demons. I find it easy and I always felt the spirits were very pleasant and not threatening in the slightest. But I never really felt the desire to summon a demon and see it in its real form. I don’t practice high ritual magick. I don’t do evocations, invocation or pacts. I am not versed to talk about those matters or their risks.

Sigil of Lilith by Halima Witchcraft

10. In many witchcraft circles, I often see a reverence for Lilith. But, maybe unfortunately, Lilith is sometimes presented as a force linked to cruel or violent sexuality, maybe not unrelated to the reputation of infanticide that the rabbis have gone to great lengths to place on her. What do you think of this image of Lilith?

I think that’s plain rubbish. Tactics used to terrify women and make sure they would bend and behave as per men demands. And of course so men wouldn’t lose face at ‘wasting their seed’. It’s convenient to blame a ghost woman for their wet dreams.

Cruelty has no place with Lilith. Absolute none. Anyone who commits cruelty in her name is really just pissing her off and completely misinformed.

As for violent sexuality, well, some people like violence during the sexual act. And as long as it’s consensual and no one’s free will is being violated…each to their own. I confess I have danced with BDSM and I have seen what some would consider ‘violent’ but to the participants it was all about pleasure. Do what makes you happy just hurt no one and respect people’s boundaries.

And dedicate a few orgasms to Lilith. She really likes that.

11. Lilith is often labelled as "dark" or Queen of the Left Hand... What do you think about this?

I don’t believe in black magick or white magick, I believe in magick. What will characterize a magickal work is the person who is doing it, not the deity or spirit chosen to make it real. The duality is mostly in us. Lilith is the Queen of the Left Hand because she allows us the freedom to choose without condemnation. This is one of the reasons I got disheartened with Wicca when I first started my path. All the ‘white’ magick was celebrated but anything to do with ‘will bending’ and ‘retribution’ was ‘dark’ and ‘evil’ and karma will get you. Sounded a lot like going back to Christianism and their ongoing threats of hell. I do not like being told what to do, where to go and how far I can get. I have my conscious and I let that be my guide. Lilith would never ask me to turn the other cheek. If I need retribution or to make someone more docile I know I can call on her to do the work.

12. One can say that the goal of a Buddhist is to reach enlightenment and the cessation of suffering, that the goal of a Christian is to be saved by his God .... What is the goal of someone who lives a Lilith-centered spirituality?

To stop fearing and being ashamed of our nature. To break the chains of a tamed spirit. To understand and sympathize with humanity. To stop striving for a perfection we will never attain for the promise of a ‘Paradise’. Our goal is to teach that we should bow to nobody. We should live without fear of sinning. To ‘bite the apple’ whenever we’re hungry. To leave the herd and choose your own path. There is no sin other than hurting your fellow human or your home (Gaia) out of cruelty or for personal gain.

13. What is magic (or sorcery) for you and how does magic fit into your practices?

Magick is something I choose to do. One doesn’t have to do magick to follow Lilith but it is fun and it makes you an active part in the pursuit of your goals. One can kneel and pray endlessly (and it’s fine!) but I choose to be hands on and create my own luck. Everything in the world is energy and everything is connected. It is just fitting that I use that energy for my own betterment.

We are surrounded by magick and we don’t realise it. You know when someone says something that you don’t want to happen and you knock on wood three times? That’s magick. You are warding off evil. Some would call it superstition for that’s also part of magick.

But please be aware, if you want a relationship with Lilith you will have to make a connection. If not through magick, through offerings, meditation, chanting, it’s your choice. Something as simple as a black candle burned on Lilith’s day (Friday) will bring her closer. Chanting her enn will also make her presence be felt. Don’t try too much too soon. Don’t force it. See it as a friendship. When you invite someone to your house you offer them drinks and food, play some music, talk. It takes a while for that person to become a friend. Keep at it.

14. Do you believe that "spirits" or "gods" carry with them a paradigm of society? If so, it is clear that YHWH is propagating a patriarchal ontological paradigm. What then is the societal paradigm proposed by Lilith?

The God of Moses brought with him a stern, unforgiving, punitive society. A God to be feared. A God that is jealous, selfish and hard. A God that elevated the human being above everything else and opened a justification for a plethora of abuse. Abuse of the weak, abuse of the Earth, abuse of nature.

A society ruled by Lilith would be a society based on equality, on problem solving and dialogue, on the pursuit of harmony through inclusion. Imagine a society where women are respected as equals. Where we all have the same weight when it comes to opportunities and rights. Where a woman can walk at night without fear. Where rape no longer exists. Where you can be lesbian, gay, trans or whatever you choose to be. A society where children are taught to respect other people’s individuality, where sex is no longer dirty and sinful. Where you don’t have to be like everybody else. Where love and respect is the foundation for building a family, not race, gender or religion.

15. Do you have any good books to recommend on the subject?

The Magick of Lilith: Calling Upon The Great Goddess of the Left-Hand Path – Baal Kadmon – great book to start on Lilith Magick.

Lilith: Dark, Feminine Archetype – Asenath Mason

Pagan Portals – Ishtar and Ereshkigal: The daughters of Sin

But if you don’t want to spend a lot of money on books, get an app like Scribd. They have loads of books, essays and writings on the subject. It’s a rich source of information on Lilith, archetype, myth and her beginnings in the collective mind of civilization.

16. Can one support your organization or become a member? What does this entail?

One can become a member or support the organization. We have just begun so we’re very far from reaching our goal but the idea is to create a community and eventually start changing minds by offering a new perspective, a new way of being.

You can become a member on our website. The support page is also there. The goal is to funnel proceedings to support charities and organisations that are making a big difference.

17. Where can we find you on the Web ?

@femchurchoflilith on Instagram

Thank you.